Thank you for continuing to write. We are in the midst of a great unraveling and the cognitive dissonance of our society ignoring and ridiculing those who recognize it is probably a big part. We will see the collapse of it all and it is scary. The only thing we can do is to love earth, each other and not allow ourselves to get sucked into the hate. Watch it, understand it but do not allow the negative emotions to own you. They are tricksters and liars.
Your vivid story (i wish i could write out thoughts and memories like that) reminds me that I found living at the "sharp edge" of life has taken many forms and polar opposites and that that intense focus of those times wss distracting me (or comforting me?) from existing in a middle state of tension. My mind can be like my heart HRV, aways moving to extremes, sometimes instantly,
fight or rest. Long mental struggles and searching other voices have brought me to an acceptance of my inner state where I can be of "two minds" and the "swings" now are shorter and less extreme. I'm exploring my inner " medicine of one" and finding my "inner song". I found in my "arc" of life, as I got past mid life I understood each trip around the sun that I was closer to my end than I was to my beginning.....self actualization kicked in big time 😎 life became more meaningful in time, my place in the universe better understood.....but that's on good days! Lol.
Of course, they're trying to sell supplements, but I've found the information they provide on different aspects of women's health to be helpful.
Also, have you ever considered going to see a Naturopathic doctor? When I lived in Juneau, Dr. Emily Kane was my naturopath. She is extremely knowledgeable and might be able to suggest a naturopath in the Boulder area. Just a thought...
I have been wondering how life was going for you. I see you riding on Zwift and was hoping all was well. I am sorry you are experiencing these emotions. I love the way you right. I feel as if I am right there. You have had so many wonderful and amazing experiences. Maybe it is time to give yourself a rest without feeling guilty. I know you have many years ahead to have more amazing adventures. Try to have the belief that it will get better. You are a survivor!
I have always loved your writing. It is so personal and intimate. Your adventures and exercise routines also inspire me. I wish there was something I could say in return to lift your spirits, but I'm not sure any specific words help.
Sure, we all make choices that impact our lives, but sometimes things happen or sometimes hormones or whatever in our body do things to us beyond our control. From my limited view of your life as an outsider I certainly don't put the blame on you for feeling depressed. I am sorry you are going through this valley. I'm pulling for you.
This may be a helpful perspective. https://tomkenyon.com/transition-states-of-consciousness
Thank you for continuing to write. We are in the midst of a great unraveling and the cognitive dissonance of our society ignoring and ridiculing those who recognize it is probably a big part. We will see the collapse of it all and it is scary. The only thing we can do is to love earth, each other and not allow ourselves to get sucked into the hate. Watch it, understand it but do not allow the negative emotions to own you. They are tricksters and liars.
Your vivid story (i wish i could write out thoughts and memories like that) reminds me that I found living at the "sharp edge" of life has taken many forms and polar opposites and that that intense focus of those times wss distracting me (or comforting me?) from existing in a middle state of tension. My mind can be like my heart HRV, aways moving to extremes, sometimes instantly,
fight or rest. Long mental struggles and searching other voices have brought me to an acceptance of my inner state where I can be of "two minds" and the "swings" now are shorter and less extreme. I'm exploring my inner " medicine of one" and finding my "inner song". I found in my "arc" of life, as I got past mid life I understood each trip around the sun that I was closer to my end than I was to my beginning.....self actualization kicked in big time 😎 life became more meaningful in time, my place in the universe better understood.....but that's on good days! Lol.
Jeff C
Forgot to give you Emily Kane's website: http://dremilykane.com/
Jill - On the off chance that this information might help you, I'm including this link to an article on the Women's Health Network website:
https://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/adrenal-fatigue-and-stress/negative-effects-of-high-cortisol/
Of course, they're trying to sell supplements, but I've found the information they provide on different aspects of women's health to be helpful.
Also, have you ever considered going to see a Naturopathic doctor? When I lived in Juneau, Dr. Emily Kane was my naturopath. She is extremely knowledgeable and might be able to suggest a naturopath in the Boulder area. Just a thought...
Barb Kelly
Jill,
I have been wondering how life was going for you. I see you riding on Zwift and was hoping all was well. I am sorry you are experiencing these emotions. I love the way you right. I feel as if I am right there. You have had so many wonderful and amazing experiences. Maybe it is time to give yourself a rest without feeling guilty. I know you have many years ahead to have more amazing adventures. Try to have the belief that it will get better. You are a survivor!
Wendy
Jill,
I have always loved your writing. It is so personal and intimate. Your adventures and exercise routines also inspire me. I wish there was something I could say in return to lift your spirits, but I'm not sure any specific words help.
Sure, we all make choices that impact our lives, but sometimes things happen or sometimes hormones or whatever in our body do things to us beyond our control. From my limited view of your life as an outsider I certainly don't put the blame on you for feeling depressed. I am sorry you are going through this valley. I'm pulling for you.
-Bonnie (43BlueDoors)